Good Friday

It's Good Friday. I want to tell you about Jesus' crucifixion, to convey the love behind it but I cannot even come close. This is what I can tell you that Love willingly walked into his enemies' arms, he became a spectacle, Love allowed men to beat him, taunt him and drive spikes through his hands, Love cried out "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" then "gave up his spirit." (Matt 27:45& 50).  He knows the anguish of betrayal; he experienced abandonment and pain. He died in my place. This is what I remember on Good Friday.

Jesus did not stay dead. He rose. Betrayal, pain, abandonment did not defeat him. He did not cheat death; he bashed it down finally. We do not need to fear it anymore. We have Jesus who went ahead of us and destroyed it.

This is what I celebrate at Easter. 

Jesus is alive today. He is that friend that sticks closer than a brother, my comforter, Lord and saviour. I have done nothing to earn his love; he gives it freely. This is what I live, breath and know everyday.

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?


’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.


He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

The Only Story I Can Tell.

I decided to start this blog because I kept wanting to share my thoughts in places like Face Book and Twitter. Then I realized that people would soon want to delete me as their friend if I kept it up. I don't have anything astounding to share except my experiences as another average human being. My Story.

Today I woke up with the tune for "Be Thou My Vision" in my head. I was really disappointed with myself when I realized that the last line of every verse was missing from my memory. I decided to get up and find the lyrics of this beautiful hymn somewhere. I looked for the hymn books that I know are somewhere in this crazy house but came up empty. Then I thought "the computer"! Lo and behold Google came through again. I wrote the lyrics in a note book sang the hymn then realized that the last lines for the next song in my heart had disappeared as well. What an age we live in! I soon found the lyrics for "The Deep, Deep love of Jesus." As I wrote the lines and sang the song I realized how much I want to share this great Love, "Love of every love the Best!"

Some of the words:

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Vast unmeasured, boundless FREE!...

How He loveth, ever loveth,
Changes never, nevermore...

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Love of every love the best!
Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
Tis a heaven of heavens to me.
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me up to THEE!

This song means so much to me because it sums up a lot of my story. As a young person I searched for love. I made a lot of mistakes, did a lot of things that left me feeling empty and lonelier than before. I know it's a cliche but I was lost, blindly trying to find a way to home, to comfort for my soul, to one who would wrap loving arms around me and love me always no matter what. I didn't find it in friends, drugs, drink, dancing, men's arms or even in motherhood. Then one day I realized that I needed something beyond what I could see, touch, taste. I knew that I was no better than anyone else. I was using others the way they used me. I reached up higher than ever before. I called out a name that I hadn't uttered, except in cursing, for years, Jesus! I knew how small I was in that moment, how much I needed to be real with him. I felt like Mary Magdalene I wept tears and he opened his arms and I walked in! My search was over! I'd found that "Deep, Deep Love, Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free! The heaven we are all searching for is HIM.

Sometimes I forget where I've been and where I'm going. Sometimes it takes me awhile to realize that and I find myself in a blind alley in the end it is always He who puts my feet back in His way. He reminds me where I've come from, where I've been and who I am travelling with now. He causes me to sing:

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O Ruler of all!