Mother`s Journal: an unexpected gift

A few years ago our church held small group Bible studies during Lent. I don't remember all the details of what we studied, but one thing that stuck with me is the practice of journaling. I started journaling during my morning devotions, and it revolutionized my prayer life.

Journaling gives my prayer time focus and keeps me consistent; additionally, I find scripture makes a deeper impression on me when I write it out. It becomes indelible. Once I have written out the scripture, I write out my responsive prayers. They are prayers of confession, thanksgiving and intercession, not always in that order.

The other day, I came to the end of a notebook and couldn't find another. Today, I woke determined to find a notebook. In my search I came across one of my mother`s notebooks; she was also a journaler. I discovered blank pages in the center of her notebook, and decided to start where she finished.
As I held my mother`s notebook in my hand I turned to the second page, and found a prayer she`d written for me. It must have been written years ago after the birth of one of my children because it is a prayer for me and my child.

Mother and Daughter

Lord I see them there

sleeping peacefully beside one another.

Keep them safe Father,

under the shadow of your wings,

my daughter and her child.

Thank you that you know

that they are yours.

I know the times may come 

when the going is rough.

May they always stay close to you Jesus

like the little lamb with the broken leg.

Help them not to wander astray,

but stay close to you Lord, the

Good Shepherd.

Lord hear my prayer. 

I thank God for a loving, and praying mother; she has blessed me over and over. Although my mother has been gone for six years her voice speaks to me because of her habit of jounaling. I am thankful for her prayers, they reach beyond her life to future generations. My mother left a wonderful gift, because her prayers continue to touch me and my loved ones. 

Snippets of scripture from my journal this month:

Lamentaion 3:22-23

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

 Psalm 62:1-2
Truly my soul finds rest in God;
    my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 50:9-12
I have no need of a bull from your stall
    or of goats from your pens,
 for every animal of the forest is mine,
    and the cattle on a thousand hills.
 I know every bird in the mountains,
    and the insects in the fields are mine.
 If I were hungry I would not tell you,
    for the world is mine, and all that is in it.

Snippets from Psalm 90
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

12 Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 91:1-2
 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Hillsong United-Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyric Video

Called by name

Since Pete was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma, it has been a bumpier road than I anticipated. We thought it would be a simple matter of removing the lesion with surgery, but things don't always go the way we foresee them. We have attended doctor's appointments where we left feeling like we'd just been toppled by a tidal wave, then we've felt overwhelming relief, followed by being knocked over again.

Pete has squamous cell carcinoma of the vocal cords, which has spread to his lymph nodes. He also has a mass on his lung, and many spots. He's been tested for latent TB and Hep C and B; all those tests were negative. Last week I decided to look for some answers on the internet. It was a big mistake because as I read, fear gripped my heart, and wouldn't let go. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I decided to tackle shoveling the driveway and walkways. After an hour and forty-five minutes, the driveway, and walkways were clear; however, I was still disturbed, so I cleaned the house and went to work. After work I distracted myself with TV for a bit, and went to bed. I woke at three am feeling like I had a knife in my chest. I prayed, O God help me, I can't let go of this fear. At about 3:30am, I decided to get up and read for a bit. I took my book and left the room thinking that I would lie on the couch till I fell asleep; instead I decided to go into the guest room and lie down in that bed. As I got into bed, I noticed a little devotional book that Anna had left behind called His Footsteps, My Pathway. I began to read, and this is what I read: "Jesus said to them, 'It is I do not be afraid.'" (John 6:20) Trust Him; "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives his life for his sheep."(John 10:11); "I have summoned you by name; you are mine."(Isaiah 43:1); "He himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" (Hebrews 13:5); "The Lord holds your future". Peace flooded my soul. I let go of my fears and held everything up to Him who is "the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end"(Rev:22:13). As I prayed, I realized that these promises are not just true for me; they are true for Pete. The Lord is Pete's good shepherd; the Lord has called Pete by name and he belongs to the Him; the Lord will never leave nor forsake Pete; the Lord holds Pete's future. As much as I love my husband, the Lord loves him more, and will care for him. I was able to let go, because Pete is in the best possible hands. His Father is the Father of all fathers--completely trustworthy. When I finished praying I got up, went back to bed, put my arm around Pete, and quickly fell asleep.

Something interesting happened that day as well. My friend Reta came to the door, and I let her in. She asked me how I was doing, and I started crying and told her about my fears. She hugged me and told me she would pray. I know Reta went away and prayed. I believe it was her prayers that helped win a victory for me that night. I know that many other people are praying, and I thank everyone of you. When we pray, we battle the unseen and win victories.
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12

I want to be there for Pete and help him through this, and the best way I can do that is to trust fully on my Lord.



“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;" Isaiah 43:1b&2a

New Year, New Day

On January 1st  this year, I read Ecclesiastes 12: 13, which is what Solomon, the wise, wrote near the end of his life. "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

Reading this verse got me thinking about God's commandments. I thought about what Jesus answered when asked, "Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?  And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 22:35-40

Why did Jesus pick these two, which are not officially part of the Ten Commandments, and why did he claim that all the Law and Prophets depend on these two commands?

I think it is because Jesus knows that love motivates us to put the commandments into practice. If we love God, we will not want other gods, and if we love others we will want to to treat them well.

The other verse that came to mind is found in Micah 6:8

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.

I think that this is what obeying those commands looks like.

But how do I live like this, what are the components that make up a life lived by acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly? What came to mind then was this: "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Colossians 3:12-14

Jesus led the way. He lived like this.

These verses are not new to me; I've read them before. I've failed in observing them many times, and God in his grace has forgiven me many times.

I cannot live like this by making resolutions, or by willing it.
I cannot even start on this life by myself, my nature wars against it. My natural tendency is to look after me and my own. I need him.  "God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:4-9

I am his work in progress, and I cannot grow unless I abide in him.

He said "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:4 &5

What is the fruit that we bear when we remain in him?
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

The Bible is repetitive; God stresses love.

He is our Father; he wants what is best for us all.

The word also talks about putting on the armour of God, but it is not because he wants us to be a violent people. He does not tell us to take up arms against one another, but against an enemy that is not of flesh and blood. The enemy that would have humankind devour itself with hatred, greed, pride, selfishness, self-centeredness and self-preservation.

The Armour of God

The belt of truth
Breastplate of righteousness
Shod with the readiness given by the gospel of peace
The shield of faith
The helmet of salvation
The sword of the Spirit; the word of God

To stand against oppression, cruelty, and injustice; to reach out in Christ's grace, mercy, and love; to treat others with respect, and seek to understand; to bless even those who curse us and to forgive because we have been forgiven.

It's Merry Christmas not happy holidays! Really?

I am bemused by the "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" debate. Is this the message of Christ mas? Did Christ teach us to defend our rights to celebrate our holidays; did he teach us to protect those rights at the peril of alienating those of other faiths?  

Christ tells us to love, do good, bless, pray for our friends, and those who agree with us? No, but to do these things for our enemies:

 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from the one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.(Luke 6:27-30)

Are we really being attacked, are we really suffering when someone says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas? Are the ones who say Happy Holidays really our enemies? 

There are Christians in other parts of the world who lives are in danger for proclaiming their faith in Christ, and we here in North America are upset because the teller at the bank or the circulation clerk at the library says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas! 

Christ did not die to give us another holiday to celebrate; he died to give us new life. He died because as fun as holidays are, they don't heal men and women's souls. 

He gave us a message to proclaim. The message that Christ has come, Christ has died, Christ has risen and lives today. His message has not changed in over two thousand years; he still proclaims,

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28 & 29)

When someone says "Happy Holidays" this season, bless them. 

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!

Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me!

Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love

Leading onward, leading homeward to Thy glorious rest above!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore!

How He loveth, ever loveth, changeth never, nevermore!

How He watches o’er His loved ones, died to call them all His own;

How for them He intercedeth, watcheth o’er them from the throne!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best!

’Tis an ocean full of blessing, ’tis a haven giving rest!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, ’tis a heaven of heavens to me;

And it lifts me up to glory, for it lifts me up to Thee. (Thomas Williams)

Tapestry

Our loved ones never really leave us; we carry them with us forever.

 I wake up thinking of mom, her smile, her joy at seeing her family arrive unexpectedly in church on Mother's day. I see her outstretched arms as she greets her children and grandchildren. I see her reach way up to give her tall son-in-law and hug.  I can see her fretting around the kitchen on Christmas day. I still feel her pain as I remember her tears as she said good-bye to two sons. The words "he's no longer in pain" ring in my ears, when talking about Paul's death. Her unwavering faith in her Father God's goodness inspires me. Her love and acceptance of others tempers my behaviour.

 I hear a song and it reminds me of Paul, his shy smile, the silly expressions he used like "gaganoons!" and "hold onto your hats we're going for a hay ride!" I remember the joy on his face every month as he received another "book of the month" as a child. I picture us playing games well into the night to ward off the nightmares he experienced. The look of pride on his face as he held his first niece Tina fills my mind. Paul's struggle with mental illness has given me a tender heart toward those who struggle with addictions, depression or other illnesses. It has taught me to realize that often the people the world considers weak or even lazy are anything but.

 Some one tells me about a broken TV and I am instantly reminded of David who could fix almost anything electronic. I remember David running pretty much everywhere as a kid and young man. I think of the funny voices he used at times. How he loved to use our video camera saying " I prefer to be behind the camera not in front of it" in a sort of Groucho Marks voice.  I remember his love for scary movies and anything American. I can see David's enthusiasm for seat belts until it became the law to wear one, then he would mutter "strapped down like an animal!" David's differentness has made me sensitive to those we consider the "other." When I meet someone "different", it reminds of David's longing to be accepted and it influences my attitude.

 Our loved ones never leave us; we carry them with us forever. However, it is more than just memories we carry and our lives are more than just touched by those closest to us; their essence is intertwined with ours. We look at our lives and cannot pull the threads of our loved ones lives from ours.  Their lives mesh with ours and create the tapestry that is life.

 

The Father of All fathers

Mother's day is approaching but lately I find myself thinking more about fathers and what that name means.

For some the word father means one who abuses his authority because he can. Most fathers are bigger and stronger than their wives and all tower over their children. Some use their strength to abuse or tyrannize their families. For others the word father means neglect, disinterest, distance and even abandonment. For some father means shame or guilt.

For some the sound of father returning home is not a welcome sound, for some the sound of father's footsteps does not fill them with confidence but dread.

Over the years I have come to know my God as my Heavenly Father. I have discovered him to be the true perfect Father of all fathers. He is fully trustworthy and loving. God my Father wants the best for me and he knows without a doubt what that is. He is the one I can put my full trust in and know that he will never betray or abuse it. He uses his power and authority to do good. He is perfect love.

When I turn to him I find forgiveness and grace. When I come to him with my problems he does not spew out blame or shame he listens and guides me. When I come to him hurting he does not turn his face away but takes me in his arms and says "peace, be still."

I have found peace and rest in my Father.




"See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!" 1 John 3 vs. 1

All For Love

by Mia Fieldes

All for love a Father gave.. For only love could make a way... All for love the heavens cried.. For love was crucified.

Oh, how many times have I broken your heart... But still you forgive if only I ask..
And how many times have you heard me pray..Draw near to me..

Everything I need is You
My beginning and forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love.. I will join the angel song. Ever Holy is the Lord, King of Glory, King of All.

All for love a Saviour prayer.. Abba Father have your way.. Though they know not what they do.. Let the cross draw man to you